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Friday, September 3, 2010

Append: Assassins

The gun I took from the Bucket of Fun had a hole in it and leaked everywhere when I brought it home and filled it up.

After stomping around my damp kitchen, I sucked it up and I drove to Family Dollar outside of Inman Square. I forked over a dollar for three new guns. (And bought some TP on the cheap while I was at it).

Two out of the three new pistols had obvious leaks. I filled up the remaining gun, which I cleverly nicknamed "The Good One," and left it overnight on a table in the living room.

In the morning I shoved The Good One in my "nice" purse. It wasn't expensive and it isn't fancy to look at, but it qualifies as my "nice purse" because every other bag I carry is either a tote bag, or made of hemp, or has fake blood stains on it.

I tucked The Good One in with my wallet, cell phone and keys, feeling like a real dangerous woman. A woman on the edge. A woman ready for action. I was headed to the Watertown RMV to renew my license, a plan I was 100% sure no one else could know about, but in case I was being followed I pretended to get lost*.

After 30 minutes of sitting at the RMV I checked my phone. It was wet. My wallet was wet. My ipod was wet. The inside of my nice purse was wet. The gun... was still full.

I took the gun out of my purse to examine it, ignoring the stares from my bench-mates. I held the gun this way and that. I shook it, alarming the studious man to my right. I rubbed it across my palm from several angles. Streaks of water appeared. The gun has a tiny fault in the seam on the handle. A real slow leak when held the wrong way.

I tried to reposition the gun in my purse. It fell over. I tried to put it in a separate pocket, but that just got my lighter and all my change wet.

Guys, I really might lose this game.

* By this I obviously mean I got lost on the way to the Arsenal Mall which is INCREDIBLE and I wish I were pretending.

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