My heart is beating like a jungle drum. . .

As I sit in the conference room of the new Improv Asylum third floor office space I am absolutely pretending I live here. If I were more of a city girl this could be my home office. The wall behind me is almost entirely window, the rug is zebra print and the other walls are a lively green and have a three dimensional texture. Every wall has a window into one of the other sunny spaces, making the room seem much larger than it is.

I'm up here working on a video project for my day job at Boston Health Care for the Homeless. Although my function with the program is as a nurse, I have been called in on the creative side of an educational "flu prevention" video. I have rehearsal in about an hour downstairs. If I were at home right now this video would not be getting done.

My room, usually clean and simple is the messiest it's been in a while. The floor is carpeted in laundry from half a week in Costa Rica and then a weekend in Providence. There is a new jewelry making project shoved halfway under my desk that involves dozens of sharp bottle caps. Books have piled up like small altars to linguistic gods near the already full bookshelf; and my dresser is covered in leftover colones giving it the appearance of a pirate's open treasure chest. Anchoring the chaos is my unmade bed, the soft purple sheets tossed in a way that is suggestive of calmer days as well as their sudden interruption. The room is an interactive testimony to a life of action and intrigue.

So... this spacious and clean office is a much more productive environment for media editing.

Earlier today I met with Norm to discuss my short and long term career plans. I think plans are funny things. Every time I make serious overtures towards plans they change anyway. That's why I bother with them very, very scarcely. My life is a lot more whimsy than you might think from the outside looking in. Or maybe not. Maybe you know all about people like me.

Either way, Norm brought up some interesting points about my current goals and how to pursue them. I got butterflies as he spoke. Real shivers.

It reminded me of a day not a full year ago when I first received the phone call that IA wanted to put me on mainstage. It's funny, because I wrote in my blog that day that this year might be "my year," but I didn't elaborate because I didn't want to jinx anything.

Now here I am and Norm had just asked me back for another show, but he also thinks I need to decide about when I'm going to leave Boston and move towards another goal.

I've told people for a long time that I don't believe I need to chose between nursing and acting, but for that to be true it means I can't have either one all the way. I will never live in Africa caring for children with AIDs; I will never be in a movie with Tina Fey.

My next move is probably either to Chicago or L.A. The things I need to do in Boston are almost the same either way. Still I fantasize about working as nurse in a clinic in Costa Rica. Still I miss the classes I used to teach at Thacher Montessori.

I really wish we didn't have only one life to live sometimes...

... it would also give me more time to clean my room.