Typically heard at work:
"Make sure you glove up and wear a mask."
"Oh I will, last time I irrigated his ulcer stuff went everywhere."
"Do you know if he's...."
"No. Better safe than sorry."
Typically heard backstage at Gorefest:
"Did I get you? I couldn't see because there was vomit in my eyes..."
"Oh yeah, you got me. Feel free to aim the blood right in my face next time though."
You still have plenty of time left to catch the show at Improv Boston in Cambridge, MA.
We have two shows tonight (they've been sold out, but sometimes there are cancellations so call the box office).
Sunday Oct. 25 at 8pm (Tomorrow night)
Wednesday October 28th at 8pm
Thursday October 29th at 8pm
Friday the 30th at 8p and 10p
Saturday the 31st at 8p and 10p
Showing posts with label Bad Blood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bad Blood. Show all posts
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
"Tell me more about that..."
Me: So forget us. What would you say is the biggest health issue you're facing right now?
New Admit: I like to think of myself in this situation as a race car brought in to an auto shop. I got two flat tires (indicates swollen legs), my hydraulic fluids are low, I got some shot pistons, you know? I'm just here to get it all fixed up before I go out to the race again.
***********radio static********************
Me: So... now what?
Patient Being Discharged: I don't know. I just need to get away from everyone. People talking about drinking and drugging. That's what got me into this mess. I just want to be clean and sober. I don't even want to hear about it. You go out in the streets, even in the shelters, it's all over the place. I'm an addict. I can't be around it. I'm going to keep failing. All I want to do is quit and get my real life back.
*********radio static *********************
Me: You mentioned you're feeling "down." Tell me more about that.
LongTerm Patient: I'm feeling trapped here. I want to get out, but I can't. I'm sick and I have no where to go. I'm a person likes being free. I want it all. A door, a lock, my key. I want to come and go, no one tells me no. I'm just feeling bad. You know them birds like vultures? Like seagulls too? You see them circle around another one, can't do anything about it? That's how I feel now. Like that.
***********radio static*******************
Monday, January 12, 2009
How to deal with Hospital Blues, and also Creeps on a Bus
How to deal with Hospital Blues (or How I Learned to Stop Fearing and Respect That 70's Show)
I was on the bus. I was determined to arrive at IB in a different mood than the one I left work in. Which is to say, I wanted to stop worrying about this blood pressure or that lab result and leave it at the job. Because otherwise you don't sleep. I was blasting my music accordingly. That 70's Show once had a very telling moment related to this. Before you skip it based on the source, let me tell you that this is particular clip captures a very true thing, no matter how you feel about the show. I think of this every time I leave work on a trying day. Now it's like you've read my mind. Also, the song Bad Blood is awesome.
******************************************************************************************
Creeps on a Bus (or What the Deaf Girl Heard)
So I had my headphones on, ipod blasting and was deeply engrossed in the book I am currently reading.* I did not notice the man standing in front of me. I did not hear the things he was saying. I did not see the faces he was making. Until a hand came into my field of vision and turned the page I was on.
I was genuinely disturbed. I jerked my neck up quickly and came face to face with Camilo and his lady friend.
Camilo started when I jumped. "Did you seriously not hear me the whole time?" He looked around nervously. I looked around too. Everyone on the bus was staring at us. The man across the aisle from me was leaning forward in his seat, catching every word.
"I honestly didn't," I said, "I was really involved in my book and my ipod was on too loud."**
"That's a great book," offered the man sitting behind me, "McSweeny's is good too." His voice was strained.
"I love McSweeney's," I said quickly and turned back to Camilo.
Cam began to laugh. "I was so obscene," he said, "I was creeping myself out. I've been at it for a while now." Around us, passengers visibly relaxed but did not take their eyes away.
The Dave Eggers fan said, "I turned off my mp3 player when he started talking to you so I could hear him. I was ready to jump if it got any worse."
People all around us nodded in agreement. Some laughing, some smiling, one or two still completely serious, ready to jump still maybe, unsure if things could turn sour any minute.
"You could have gotten jumped," I said to Camilo, who was laughing even harder now.
"I mean, these strangers, they might have killed you!" I was laughing too.
"I totally had your back," said one of the strangers. Everyone laughed.
Cam didn't repeat any of the things he had been saying, but he assured me they were horrible, terrible things that no one should say to anyone else (again, nods from strangers, all of them smiling by now) and he realized half way through there was no way I was just ignoring him but he couldn't just give up.
We got off the bus together at Prospect Street and Awesome Literary Critic did too. "Seriously," he said, "I would have defended you. My name is Jared." He shook hands with me and Camilo both and headed down the Red Line entrance.
It's funny, because I like to think that Jared who likes Dave Eggers would have defended me. But I'm not so sure. People are funny in threatening situations. I mean, you'd think someone would have stopped Camilo before he touched my book. If he was saying truly terrible things. But it's moot. I'd rather not need defending at all. I think maybe from now on if I'm reading then my ipod needs to be at half volume. For good measure. Thanks, creepy Camilo.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* A re-read: Dave Eggers' A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, which "deserves" its own post even though I have read it before. warning, this post will not come for a while but will be epic when it comes.
** This is why I missed my stop that very morning and had to back track on the Orange Line in the snow. Same book. Same play list.
I was on the bus. I was determined to arrive at IB in a different mood than the one I left work in. Which is to say, I wanted to stop worrying about this blood pressure or that lab result and leave it at the job. Because otherwise you don't sleep. I was blasting my music accordingly. That 70's Show once had a very telling moment related to this. Before you skip it based on the source, let me tell you that this is particular clip captures a very true thing, no matter how you feel about the show. I think of this every time I leave work on a trying day. Now it's like you've read my mind. Also, the song Bad Blood is awesome.
******************************************************************************************
Creeps on a Bus (or What the Deaf Girl Heard)
So I had my headphones on, ipod blasting and was deeply engrossed in the book I am currently reading.* I did not notice the man standing in front of me. I did not hear the things he was saying. I did not see the faces he was making. Until a hand came into my field of vision and turned the page I was on.
I was genuinely disturbed. I jerked my neck up quickly and came face to face with Camilo and his lady friend.
Camilo started when I jumped. "Did you seriously not hear me the whole time?" He looked around nervously. I looked around too. Everyone on the bus was staring at us. The man across the aisle from me was leaning forward in his seat, catching every word.
"I honestly didn't," I said, "I was really involved in my book and my ipod was on too loud."**
"That's a great book," offered the man sitting behind me, "McSweeny's is good too." His voice was strained.
"I love McSweeney's," I said quickly and turned back to Camilo.
Cam began to laugh. "I was so obscene," he said, "I was creeping myself out. I've been at it for a while now." Around us, passengers visibly relaxed but did not take their eyes away.
The Dave Eggers fan said, "I turned off my mp3 player when he started talking to you so I could hear him. I was ready to jump if it got any worse."
People all around us nodded in agreement. Some laughing, some smiling, one or two still completely serious, ready to jump still maybe, unsure if things could turn sour any minute.
"You could have gotten jumped," I said to Camilo, who was laughing even harder now.
"I mean, these strangers, they might have killed you!" I was laughing too.
"I totally had your back," said one of the strangers. Everyone laughed.
Cam didn't repeat any of the things he had been saying, but he assured me they were horrible, terrible things that no one should say to anyone else (again, nods from strangers, all of them smiling by now) and he realized half way through there was no way I was just ignoring him but he couldn't just give up.
We got off the bus together at Prospect Street and Awesome Literary Critic did too. "Seriously," he said, "I would have defended you. My name is Jared." He shook hands with me and Camilo both and headed down the Red Line entrance.
It's funny, because I like to think that Jared who likes Dave Eggers would have defended me. But I'm not so sure. People are funny in threatening situations. I mean, you'd think someone would have stopped Camilo before he touched my book. If he was saying truly terrible things. But it's moot. I'd rather not need defending at all. I think maybe from now on if I'm reading then my ipod needs to be at half volume. For good measure. Thanks, creepy Camilo.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* A re-read: Dave Eggers' A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, which "deserves" its own post even though I have read it before. warning, this post will not come for a while but will be epic when it comes.
** This is why I missed my stop that very morning and had to back track on the Orange Line in the snow. Same book. Same play list.
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